[In the end that's all Max really wants too. He's tired of searching to find someone who meets up with all his idiosyncrasies. He almost settled. He came so very close to tying it all up neat and clean with the person he thought he'd always wanted. She kept him steady and allowed him focus and brought out the light in him, but she never allowed for the dark. Max still held it in him, and as much as he hated that broken part of him-- the part he fought tooth and nail so that he'd never hurt a soul that he cared about, it still ran beneath his skin, a fine sand always grating the nerve endings.
Jason was a balm to that. He saw that side and let it out, and wrapped his arms around it. He held Max tight -- and so now, Max held him tight. Max soared inside with his body rocking softly inside Jason. He could feel that soft bubble of pleasure grow, tighten and even as he fought it, he wanted to watch as he pushed Jason over that edge again.
Max needed to see that scene of absolute divine presence as it crossed and ran through his precious.]
I need to see you. I want to see you let go again. Let go for me. Soar for me, my love.
[The words are quite in their solitude, their perfect little nest that noone could disturb. Max reaches down and slips his hand between their bodies, using his wrist as a fulcrum along with the press of his hips to rock Jason's erection with them every single time Max thrusts. As his body heats, so does the motion of his hand, and the moans on his lips, slips of Jason's name, encouragements, and tender endearments press against neck and ear.]
[ neat and clean are two things that Jason definitely isn't. he's wild and reckless, messy and dark. maybe in different ways than Max, but it's still there. he wouldn't ever want Max to hold it all inside and maybe eventually Jason will learn that it's safe and ok for him to let it all out too.
Jason's also soft and romantic, carful and full of heart. those are also parts of himself he never shows. what Max gives to him now pulls it out of him so easily, his fingers gripping Max's hard against the pillow, his other sliding down Max's neck as he rocks into him.
his lips part as Max thrusts into him slow and deep, taking his breath away. his words alone, whispered so affectionately, so lovingly, they make a tight heat move through his body like lightning. once Max's hand is on his cock with those whispers of encouragement wrapping around his name, Jason can't hold back anymore. he doesn't want to.
he cries out Max's name, legs tightening hard around his waist as he spills between them, tightening his hold around Max in every single way. ]
[Maybe one day they will figure out ways to let go of that dark together, and hold onto one another where it's safe while they do. Everyone needs someone whose demons play well together. Jason is that person for Max, whether either of them know it currently or not.
Who couldn't love the caring, romantic, eyes wide open side of Jason. Max has already seen plenty of it and that's one of the biggest reasons he's fallen for the other. It's not the dark, it's the open heart, the eyes that see right through him, the way he makes Max laugh, and all the little things they say that touch him. It's a million little things that all mix together into a perfect potion.
A potion that's poured itself out and is swarming all of Max's systems, dripping along his neural pathways as he drives himself deep into Jason, begging the other with his body and lips to come for him. Dark eyes never once leave the other's face, eager and patient all at once to see what love has wrought in the most perfect of sense.
Then when it happens Max can't control himself either. He feels muscles contract and release over and around his cock, milking him and he comes immediately after Jason on a long cry of his beloved's name. So much, so deep, it feels like it's never ending as he rocks himself against Jason. Only relaxing once it finally ends, spilling out the sides of Jason's body, down his legs and beyond. ]
You make me and break me in all the best ways... [He pants, holding onto Jason tightly, not wanting to let go.]
[ Jason needs someone like that. someone who helps him through his darkness and work with him on how to let that go. if they can do it together, all the better. he needs someone that he doesn't need to hide from that softer side of himself either, and that seems to be Max. he's already more comfortable with Max than he has been with anyone else. it really is something.
last night, this morning, it all feels like pure bliss. Max driving himself deeper and deeper until Jason comes, it's better than anything he could have imagined. all the sensations spiking through him along with the warm heat of Max coming inside of him as well, it surrounds him in the kind of love and passion he never even thought he'd deserve.
he cries out again when Max spills into him, body tightening up again to milk him dry. Max must be inspiring that possessiveness in Jason because he wants to keep it all inside of him. ]
Fuck, so do you. I swear I've never fucking felt like this before.
[They will both need work on training their demons, and seeing through letting them go-- or working along side them so that they aren't so toxic to people around them or they themselves. Jason needs to learn to believe in himself and Max needs to find security in another person, and knowledge that eventually they will be around for him long term, and not leave him for another being.
Every moment together has been sheer bliss, and as they lay here together spent and tied up still covered in their loving, Max can't even think of moving. He grabs a nearby towel, and wipes along their stomachs, and Jason's thighs, but he doesn't bother to go much higher than half way up, leaving a little bit of himself there.
He kisses along his lover's jawline and at the corners of his lips, inhaling their mixed scent as he lays there. It's permeated his room, and he knows that it will stay there for days later. Maybe he should change his sheets, but ... ]
I'll always make you feel like this. I'll do my best to always fill you and love you after we've had rough sex. They both go together, remember that. We are both. I am both. I need you so much, you make me crazy, but this is just as important as last night, as every bruise i left on you.
[ Jason has a hard time finding security in another person too. almost every single person he's known has left him in one way or another. that's something they'll have to work on together.
in these moments, Jason can't imagine either of them leaving, though he knows it's inevitable, at least in the case of going about their day. he doesn't want to think about that yet, though. he's still basking in the afterglow, completely relaxed and blissed out in every kind of way. his fingers keep roaming, even as Max cleans them up, and then he slides his arms tighter around the other man to pull him closer for some cuddles. ]
I love both. I want us to have both. I want everything with you.
[Laying like this can go on for hours, all day even and Max wouldn't mind. Holding and kissing Jason is the most fulfilling thing he's done in what seems like forever. All the little details of his day and his boring life here he shares as they touch, and find little sensitive spots-- max has several along his spine, and even on his ass that make him laugh.
He loves the sound of Jason's laugh. It's brilliant and clear and touches his heart, opening it up wider than he realizes already. By the time Jason has to leave, they've shared so much, and kissed for what seems like hours on end. They showered together, and laid in bed after max changed the sheets.
Holding Jason tightly, Max is loathe to let him go, even knowing he'll see the other again. It's probably one of the most painful things he's done. It's only for a little while, but it has to be done. ]
I don't want to let go. I know you're coming back, but I hate to let go. Promise me you're coming back. Don't leave Roswell without seeing me again. Talking to me, touching me again.
[ Jason knows it's not fair to put his shit on another person and expect them to fix him, but Jason's pretty sure that if he got to be like this with Max all the time, maybe he'd be a little less fucked up. maybe he'd be ok for once in his life.
it's a beautiful bubble that they drag out for as long as they can, until Jason knows he has to go. he feels the dread of it, but he reminds himself this isn't the end. far from it, if he has anything to say about it. his heart is too attached now, even if he doesn't yet know what that feeling is. ]
Of course I'm coming back.... fuck, I don't wanna let go either, though. I'll come back as many times as I can before I have to go, though. Wouldn't ever miss a chance to be with you.
[Arms slide up and down, and there are a dozen more kisses before Max finally releases Jason. It's the most painful thing he's done in a while and his body feels empty and bereft. It tears him up merely letting go this small amount.
He has no idea how they'll ever survive long distance. Can a relationship like that even come close to working? It stirs worry in his gut, fear that the pain might be too much, that his need might overwhelm him.
Sitting outside for hours after Jason leaves, Max falls asleep by his front fireplace worrying over their future, but also looking forward to the next time he'll see Jason. That will eclipse all his fears.]
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no subject
Jason was a balm to that. He saw that side and let it out, and wrapped his arms around it. He held Max tight -- and so now, Max held him tight. Max soared inside with his body rocking softly inside Jason. He could feel that soft bubble of pleasure grow, tighten and even as he fought it, he wanted to watch as he pushed Jason over that edge again.
Max needed to see that scene of absolute divine presence as it crossed and ran through his precious.]
I need to see you. I want to see you let go again. Let go for me. Soar for me, my love.
[The words are quite in their solitude, their perfect little nest that noone could disturb. Max reaches down and slips his hand between their bodies, using his wrist as a fulcrum along with the press of his hips to rock Jason's erection with them every single time Max thrusts. As his body heats, so does the motion of his hand, and the moans on his lips, slips of Jason's name, encouragements, and tender endearments press against neck and ear.]
no subject
Jason's also soft and romantic, carful and full of heart. those are also parts of himself he never shows. what Max gives to him now pulls it out of him so easily, his fingers gripping Max's hard against the pillow, his other sliding down Max's neck as he rocks into him.
his lips part as Max thrusts into him slow and deep, taking his breath away. his words alone, whispered so affectionately, so lovingly, they make a tight heat move through his body like lightning. once Max's hand is on his cock with those whispers of encouragement wrapping around his name, Jason can't hold back anymore. he doesn't want to.
he cries out Max's name, legs tightening hard around his waist as he spills between them, tightening his hold around Max in every single way. ]
no subject
Who couldn't love the caring, romantic, eyes wide open side of Jason. Max has already seen plenty of it and that's one of the biggest reasons he's fallen for the other. It's not the dark, it's the open heart, the eyes that see right through him, the way he makes Max laugh, and all the little things they say that touch him. It's a million little things that all mix together into a perfect potion.
A potion that's poured itself out and is swarming all of Max's systems, dripping along his neural pathways as he drives himself deep into Jason, begging the other with his body and lips to come for him. Dark eyes never once leave the other's face, eager and patient all at once to see what love has wrought in the most perfect of sense.
Then when it happens Max can't control himself either. He feels muscles contract and release over and around his cock, milking him and he comes immediately after Jason on a long cry of his beloved's name. So much, so deep, it feels like it's never ending as he rocks himself against Jason. Only relaxing once it finally ends, spilling out the sides of Jason's body, down his legs and beyond. ]
You make me and break me in all the best ways... [He pants, holding onto Jason tightly, not wanting to let go.]
no subject
last night, this morning, it all feels like pure bliss. Max driving himself deeper and deeper until Jason comes, it's better than anything he could have imagined. all the sensations spiking through him along with the warm heat of Max coming inside of him as well, it surrounds him in the kind of love and passion he never even thought he'd deserve.
he cries out again when Max spills into him, body tightening up again to milk him dry. Max must be inspiring that possessiveness in Jason because he wants to keep it all inside of him. ]
Fuck, so do you. I swear I've never fucking felt like this before.
no subject
Every moment together has been sheer bliss, and as they lay here together spent and tied up still covered in their loving, Max can't even think of moving. He grabs a nearby towel, and wipes along their stomachs, and Jason's thighs, but he doesn't bother to go much higher than half way up, leaving a little bit of himself there.
He kisses along his lover's jawline and at the corners of his lips, inhaling their mixed scent as he lays there. It's permeated his room, and he knows that it will stay there for days later. Maybe he should change his sheets, but ... ]
I'll always make you feel like this. I'll do my best to always fill you and love you after we've had rough sex. They both go together, remember that. We are both. I am both. I need you so much, you make me crazy, but this is just as important as last night, as every bruise i left on you.
no subject
in these moments, Jason can't imagine either of them leaving, though he knows it's inevitable, at least in the case of going about their day. he doesn't want to think about that yet, though. he's still basking in the afterglow, completely relaxed and blissed out in every kind of way. his fingers keep roaming, even as Max cleans them up, and then he slides his arms tighter around the other man to pull him closer for some cuddles. ]
I love both. I want us to have both. I want everything with you.
no subject
He loves the sound of Jason's laugh. It's brilliant and clear and touches his heart, opening it up wider than he realizes already. By the time Jason has to leave, they've shared so much, and kissed for what seems like hours on end. They showered together, and laid in bed after max changed the sheets.
Holding Jason tightly, Max is loathe to let him go, even knowing he'll see the other again. It's probably one of the most painful things he's done. It's only for a little while, but it has to be done. ]
I don't want to let go. I know you're coming back, but I hate to let go. Promise me you're coming back. Don't leave Roswell without seeing me again. Talking to me, touching me again.
no subject
it's a beautiful bubble that they drag out for as long as they can, until Jason knows he has to go. he feels the dread of it, but he reminds himself this isn't the end. far from it, if he has anything to say about it. his heart is too attached now, even if he doesn't yet know what that feeling is. ]
Of course I'm coming back.... fuck, I don't wanna let go either, though. I'll come back as many times as I can before I have to go, though. Wouldn't ever miss a chance to be with you.
no subject
He has no idea how they'll ever survive long distance. Can a relationship like that even come close to working? It stirs worry in his gut, fear that the pain might be too much, that his need might overwhelm him.
Sitting outside for hours after Jason leaves, Max falls asleep by his front fireplace worrying over their future, but also looking forward to the next time he'll see Jason. That will eclipse all his fears.]